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How to Have Safer Sex

Here is some information on how to protect yourself and have safer sex. We use the term “safer” because nothing is 100% safe; there is always some degree of risk. But it’s all about managing your risk.

First of all, it’s important to know and always remember that no one can tell you what to do. It’s up to you to maintain control of every situation you’re in and when you feel like a situation is out of control to get out of that situation. First step is to prepare yourself mentally for any situation, know your limits, and think ahead of time about those limits. If you do this, practicing safer sex is a cinch.

Make sure that lines of communication are open between you and your partner(s) and you are both able to talk freely and openly about safer sex. In other words, bring up the topic, be bold, and find out what your partner thinks about that topic, so that it’s understood from the beginning what your limits are and what you’re willing to do.

The following advice is centered around preventing transmission of HIV:

Always assume your partner might already have been in contact with HIV.

Communication is key, and yet you can never make the assumption that your partner is HIV free no matter what they tell you. As a rule, you should apply the same safer sex practices to every person with whom you engage in any kind of behavior that will put you at risk.

How HIV is transmitted
HIV is present in almost all bodily fluids. What counts is how much of a concentration of HIV there is. The fluids you need to be careful about are blood, semen (cum), vaginal fluid, pre-cum. (note: there have been no cases where HIV has been proved to have been transmitted via precum and the presence in precum is relatively low·). HIV is relatively fragile, and so typically as soon as it is exposed to the air it becomes less and less able to cause infection. What you wanna do is prevent those fluids of another person directly entering your body.

No risk behaviors
Basically, doing anything with your hands with someone else is no-risk behavior. Also, touching, fondling, rubbing, kissing, sweating is all safe. Getting fluids that contain HIV on the skin of your body is not dangerous either.

Medium risk behaviors
Everyone has cuts in their mouth. Because of this it is important to avoid getting cum or vaginal fluids in your mouth. If you are blowing somebody, you have two choices here. One is to use a condom. Two is to ask your partner not to ejaculate into your mouth. Using a condom during oral sex eliminates the potential that you might get HIV from pre-cum, but in general most agencies who are the authority on this subject say they leave it up to you to decide how much risk you want to take. For vaginal fluids, dental dams (a sheet of latex) are used to reduce risk.

High risk behaviors
Anal/vaginal sex involving penetration with a penis is high-risk behavior. There’s always an amount of cutting that may occur that can easily transmit HIV but also intercourse (vaginal/anal) also provides a perfectly sheltered moist, hot, comfy bodily zone where the HIV can move without exposure to air.. So that’s why you always want to use a condom for this.

How to use a condom
Make sure the condom is made of latex ((polyurethane condoms are now on the market and are just as effective as preventing STD’s)). Make sure the condom is fresh (read the expiration date on the package). Regardless of the expiry date, make sure the condom hasn’t been sitting in the sun or in a hot dry area, and make sure the package hasn’t been ripped open. Condoms come in all shapes and sizes, so if you have found that condoms make things uncomfortable for you or painful, or are difficult to use, go to the store and buy every type of condom and experiment until you find one that works right for you. Do not use two condoms at the same time, one on top of the other, to double your protection or for any reason. This does not work. The friction between the two will tear them. Always use a water-based lubricant. Oil-based or petroleum based lubricants will destroy latex and disintegrate your condom. ((Silicon based lubricants are now available. Silican lube cannot be used with polyurethane condoms but are safe for use with latex.))

Examples of water based lubricants: KY jelly, ID lube. Examples of oil-based lubricants (DO NOT USE WITH A CONDOM): Vaseline, massage oil, bath oil, Crisco, lotions.

Tear open the package, take the condom out. Some people like to put a drop of lubricant inside the bubble tip of the condom before they put it one because it makes things work and feel a bit better. Roll the condom down over the erect penis until it reaches the bottom. There should be a good-sized bubble at the tip to catch cum. Put lots of water-based lube on the outside of the condom and you’re all set! When you’re ready to pull out, hold on to the base of the condom to make sure it doesn’t fall off on the way. For those of you who are wondering if anal sex hurts, for example, or the best way to do it, check back on the website and we’ll develop something on this topic.

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